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DIY Multi-Camera Livestreaming

By
Michael Wheeler in livestream rehearsals for Behaviour at the GCTC. Photo by Mariah Horner.

 

This page will walk you through a simple multi-camera livestream set-up that you can achieve from your home. All you need is:

  1. A stable WiFi connection
  2. 2-4 different IOS devices with cameras and the ability to connect to the internet. One of these devices will act as the “switcher”, which helps you control the livestream, the other devices will act as cameras.
  3. 2-4 device mounts (homemade or store-bought works)
  4. To download Switcher Studio on all devices. You will be asked to set-up an account. You will get the first two weeks as a free trial, then you can upgrade to keep your package. You can find pricing options here. 

This set-up relies on a switcher software that allows you to utilize more than one camera lens, leveling up an at-home livestream in a major way! A switcher allows you to have more than one camera input and switch between angles in a livestream. 

If you are interested in livestreaming from one single source to YouTube, Facebook, Vimeo or Instagram that’s easy! Most of these platforms have user-friendly ways of livestreaming from a laptop camera or phone. For additional resources on livestreaming, check out this article by our friends at Howlround. This page will continue to grow with additional information on sound integration.

Please note: this guide is written using Switcher Studio on an iPhone, display commands may look different on different devices.

💥 SET-UP 💥

Step one: Set-up all three devices on mounts or makeshift mounts capturing three angles of what you’d like to shoot. Each device should also be connected to a power. Avoid putting cameras right in front of speakers as this will make the video unstable. 

Step two: Turn off notifications on all devices: 

  • Phone/iPad Notifications: Settings > Do Not Disturb > Slide to ON

Step three: Ensure all three devices are connected to the same WiFi network. This is very important. This style of livestreaming will only work if all devices are connected to the same WiFi network. 

Step four: Open Switcher Studio on all devices. You may be asked to input your account information.

Step five: On whatever device you’d like to use as the switcher, USE AS SWITCHER. On other devices select REMOTE CAMERA MODE. They will show you a number that starts with rlcc:// 

Step six: Go back to your switcher device and beside the square that says WELCOME TO THE SHOW, select the little black square with a plus sign or on your iPhone, select the VIDEO CAMERA icon along the bottom. Under SWITCHER STUDIO select CAMERAS. Under SOURCES ON YOUR WI-FI NETWORK, select OTHER. 

Step seven: Enter the rlcc:// numbers you see on the camera devices into your central control. You may be prompted to “accept” on cameras. 

Step eight: Ensure the central control device is set to DIRECTOR MODE by selecting the box with an arrow on the bottom right corner, scrolling to the bottom where it says RECORDING and ensuring Director Mode is slid on. 

Step nine: Once all three devices are connected, use the central control to begin by tapping the red circle record button in top right corner. 

💥 MULTI-CAMERAS 💥

When using Switcher Studio while livestreaming, you can move between more than one camera in your stram. You do this by selecting the different feeds you see in your studio on your central control device. If there is a red square around a feed, that means it is live and a blue square means you are preparing your next feed. You can also control the zoom remotely by using the yellow magnifying glass along the left side.

Zoe Sweet in rehearsals for Behaviour (2018). Photo by Mariah Horner.

💥 SOUND 💥

If you are working in a small space with good acoustics, you can try to use your device microphones but this is not recommended. If you have an external microphone for your device, that will improve the sound quality immensely. 

In order to use an external microphone with your livestream set-up, you will require an I- Rig type system. Once you have connected an external microphone to the I-Rig system to the switcher device (not the cameras), you will need to select the audio input (it may say “external microphone” or I-Rig)  in Switcher Studio. You should also make sure that whatever microphone you’re using plugs into a ¼ jack. 

If you are planning to livestream a multi-media show with a sound mixer, your best option is to pull all sound directly from the mixer or a speaker when available. Using something like an I-Rig is cost effective and will allow you to broadcast the sound directly from the sound mixer to your live stream audience. The mixer or speaker has to have an available output and outputs will typically be 3 prong female XLR or ¼ inch jack. In order to plug into the switcher device you will need to plug into the I-Rig which requires a ¼ inch jack so you may need an adapter. Always double check all inputs and outputs before the day of live streaming.  

If you’re working on a site, always get permission from the on site sound tech before plugging anything into their system. Make sure you have selected the correct audio input on the switcher device once everything is connected. You can test the level by pulling up your livestream on another device. 

💥 LIVESTREAMING 💥

Switcher Studio will allow you to livestream to Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn Live, Twitch or a Custom RTMP. Before going live, we recommend doing a private stream to test audio and video levels. 

On an iPhone:

Step one: Select the square with the arrow coming out of it in the centre along the bottom of your screen.

Step two: Select which platform you’d like to use for livestreaming. Then follow the prompts to set up your account.

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Trello: The Online Filing Cabinet

By
Screenshot from a Trello board.

 

Trello is a free platform that can function as a digital filing cabinet. It is easily organized and can be accessed by a team of users so it may help your collaborators easily find documents online.

💥 THE BASICS 💥

Boards: are like shelves in your filing cabinet. At SWS we organize our boards by activities like “foldA”, “grants”, and “admin”. On a free account, you can have up to 10 active boards.

Lists: are like file folders in your filing cabinet. At SWS we organize our lists chronologically and name them like we would a file in a filing cabinet, like “CCA Grant: March 2020” and “foldA marketing materials”. There is no limit to the lists you can have in a board.

Cards: are like individual documents in your filing cabinet.

💥 SET-UP 💥

Step one: Go to Trello and input your email address.

Step two: Trello will then run you through a tutorial that invites you to get started with naming some boards, lists, and cards.

💥 USING TRELLO💥

Step one: On the far right side of your board you’ll see the capacity to + ADD ANOTHER LIST. If you want to add a card in the list, you’ll see + ADD A CARD.

Step two: There are many different functions within the cards. To modify what your card is for, first select the card. Along the right side you’ll see a few options, including:

  • Members: this allows you to directly tag members of your workspace in this document
  • Labels: this allows you to colour code cards for projects.
  • Checklist: this allows you to input a checklist into a card. This is especially helpful when writing grants, ensuring that you have collected all of the necessary material.
  • Due date: this allows you to select a due date for the card.
  • Attachment: this allows you to attach documents to cards.
  • Cover: this allows you to add a cover photo to a card.

Step three: You can rearrange cards by dragging them within a list or into another list.

Step four: You can see your other boards (or add new ones) by clicking BOARDS in the top left corner.

Return to main resource page to read more!

Slack 101

By
foldA 2019 graphic designed by Kevin Merritt.

 

Slack is a collaborative messaging service that helps alleviate email fatigue, encourages digital collaboration, and clear communication between online teams. SWS has been relying on Slack to collaborate across distance since 2013. We’ve used it to run a company with offices across the country, facilitate foldA with every artist/volunteer/attendee/staff in a common workspace, and to stage manage a show in 4 cities at once.

Benefits to Slack
  • Separate work/personal communication tools
  • Encourage inter-team collaboration and clear communication
  • Organize conversations easily
  • Alleviate email overload

This page will walk you through the process of creating a workspace, some basics about Slack, and offer some playful tips for becoming a #slacklord. If you’ve got any questions, slide join the foldA workspace and slide into @mariah.horner’s DMs or you can connect with SWS. 

 

💥 SLACK BASICS 💥

Channels are chatrooms dedicated to certain topics. This is how you will communicate with members of your team. Channels can be project or team specific, but it is worth considering how you would like to organize your Slack workspace from the get-go. 

Direct messages are for private communication. 

Use threads and emojis! In order to keep communication clear, if you read a message, you can select the message and add an emoji below. If you are in a conversation with someone on slack, use a thread rather than an additional post. Click the message you are responding to and select “start thread”.

 

💥 GETTING SET-UP 💥

Step 1: Visit the Slack website. If you’d like to connect with a Slack representative directly, you can do so online. 

Step 2: In the top righthand corner, select the purple button LAUNCH SLACK. Then select CREATE A NEW WORKSPACE. Follow the prompts to confirm your email address.

Step 3: After confirming your email address, you will begin to create a workspace. Slack will ask you “what is the name of your company or team” which will become the title of your workspace is and “what’s a project your team is working on” which will become the name of a channel.

Step 4: Slack will then ask you to invite teammates through email. You can invite a few here and you can also add members later on. You will also see a link that says “Get an invite link to share”. This way you can share your workplace through a link instead of an email invite.

Step 5: You will then be invited to see your first channel. We’ll explain below what a channel is. For now, select SEE CHANNEL and you will be invited to explore Slack through a tutorial helping you set up your workspace by messaging your channels, inviting contacts, and selecting a display name/password.

Step 6: For easy access on the go, you can instal the free Slack app on your Smartphone (iPhone, Android, etc.). You can also download the app on your desktop if using an Apple Mac or Windows. If you are not able to download Slack, you can still use a browser on your phone or laptop/computer to access the website and login.

 

💥 CHANNELS 💥

Think about Channels as chatrooms dedicated to certain topics or departments. This is how you can communicate with your team on specific topics, like email threads. 

Step 1: Once you’re setup with Slack you will automatically be added to the #general channel, #random channel, and whatever channel you named during set-up.

Step 2: By clicking the + symbol next to the word Channels you can explore the other available channels in your workplace and add yourself to the relevant teams. If you are the workplace admin, you can add other channels. Some channels that may work for arts organizations include #grants, #scheduling, #fundraising and #boardmeetings.

 

💥DIRECT MESSAGING 💥

You can direct message anyone privately in your workspace. 

Step 1: Along the left side of your screen, under “Channels” you’ll see “Direct Messages”, select the + to create a new direct message. 

Step 2: Type in the name of the person you’d like to connect with, send them a message. You can add more than one person to a direct message if needed.

💥 NOTIFICATIONS 💥

Slack notifications are entirely customizable and have many options including the frequency of notifications and type of notification you receive.

Note that Slack does not always automatically send you notifications so it’s important to check and see that you are getting notifications.

Step 1: From the desktop version click on the bell to customize your notifications. From the app select the three dots next to the magnifying glass and then select the ‘Do Not Disturb’ bell.

 

 

Step 2: From both these locations you now have the option to temporarily snooze notifications. This is useful when you would like to work without disruption temporarily or over the weekend. Protip: you can also trigger this by using /dnd (TIME). Example: ‘/dnd Monday’ would snooze notifications until the following Monday

Step 3: In the web version select ‘Do Not Disturb Schedule’ and in the app select the three dots> settings>Do Not Disturb. You can then input your scheduled hours as to when you do not want to be notified. Note that this will cause notifications to turn off at the same time every day.

Step 4: In the web version scroll up to customize notification types and down to customize notification sounds. In the app go back to settings and select ‘Notifications’. Here you can select if you want to receive all messages or only messages specific to you.

Step 5: If you’re feeling extra adventurous you can customize your notifications to each channel. This is most commonly used to mute a channel like ‘Random’ and receive all notifications about your team specific channel. To do this, select the settings wheel in the web version or click on the channel name in the app. You will then be able to customize your preferences for that specific.

Note: Notification preferences are a matter of personal preference and should be set up in a way that suits your workflow best. If you’re eager to stay on top of all the Slack chat in the beginning leave your notifications to ‘All New Messages’, if you’re worried about adding another workspace to your life try testing ‘Direct messages, mentions, and keywords’.

💥OTHER SLACK HACKS💥

Think about Slack like you would facebook messenger, or group messaging on an iPhone. It’s an informal and collaborative way to connect both on a browser and on your mobile device. 

Tag people in conversations! You can tag people in conversations by using @theirname.

Format your messages! To bold text *bold me* and to italicize text _italicize me_. 

Add gifs! When you are in the desktop browser version of your Slack workspace (yourworkspacename.slack.com), select the workspace name in the top left corner and select SETTINGS AND ADMINISTRATION > MANAGE APPS.  Select BROWSE APP DIRECTORY. In the search bar, type giphy. Then along the left, select ADD TO SLACK, then ADD GIPHY INTEGRATION. Note: only workplace admin can authorize the app integration.

Add custom emojis! From your desktop browser version of your Slack workspace (yourworkspacename.slack.com), open the emoji bar by clicking on the smiley face icon in the message field. Select ADD EMOJI then Upload Image to select a file. Select Upload Image. Enter a name for your emoji, then click Save. Note: only workplace admin can add custom emojis.

Return to main resource page to read more!


Thought Residency: Eva Barrie

By

It’s Eva. This is thought number [thirteen].

I read this thing on facebook today that got me a bit frustrated. It was a post saying how versatile artists are, and how they’re used to having multiple jobs and hustling to make ends meet, especially in challenging times. And the thought behind this was very well-intentioned and I believe it’s true as well, but what frustrates me is the romanticization of that. Because we’re forced to do that hustle, because often being an artist is undervalued and not seen as a job in Canada. There will be a significant amount of people – especially emerging artists – who will come out of this and decide the arts aren’t possible for them. Precarity isn’t romantic. I’m hoping that rather than being so impressed with how scrappy artists can be, we can out of this thankful that artists exist, because of the vital service they do for their communities.

It’s Eva. This is thought twelve.

Today I was reading a play that I’ve been writing for the last year or so and I found it hard to hook into because I’m so consumed with the immediate moment. And I had to clock for myself that inside of this crisis my humanity is still existent. I’m still grappling with the same problems on top of this. So for me my desire is to not let this crisis consume me, and the art that I make, but how can it explode it? How can my plays not necessarily be about COVID, but how can they be about connection, need for each other? That’s my big ponder right now, and it’s hard, when something’s slamming in your face. Daily.

It’s Eva. This is thought eleven and it’s about the coolest fucking people in the world, and those are my parents.

They’re across the country right now and they’re both in their like, mid-late seventies and my dad, he came to Canada in the seventies and worked as an engineer, and then after he retired he started writing stories and self-publishing them, and then recently self-published this memoir called The Road From Mandalay which is all about how his family came from Burma and then moved to India and then to Pakistan and he wrote all this during his retired years. And then my mom – who is also super cool – she worked as a paediatrician when she came to Canada and then when I was little, she started this charity called Pound Rescue that rescues abandoned dogs and cats. She’s touched a lot of lives – human and non-human – and she’s still working right now because there are still a lot of little lives that depend on her. So I’m worried, but I’m grateful because they’re the most compassionate people I know.

It’s Eva Barrie. This is thought number ten.

I miss tapping someone on the shoulder when they’ve dropped something.

I miss two-handed handshakes that feel really strong, but caring at the same time

And

High-fives that went embarrassingly wrong, and the more embarrassing decision to try the High-Five again.

Grabbing your friend’s hand out of excitement

Or out of compassion.

The awkward and subtle “whoops sorry” when you brush someone’s hand against yours in the subway.

Stifling a laugh when a kid grabs you, thinking you’re their parent.

Passing someone a kleenex.

Taking a photo for a tourist on their cellphone.

The quick point coupled with an eyebrow raise to see if a parent wants help lifting a stroller onto a street car.

Moving my backpack so someone can sit right beside me.

I miss strangers.

It’s Eva. Thought…nine? I think. And I’m longing for libraries.

One of my favourite libraries is the Calgary Public Library. It’s beautiful! It’s architecturally stunning and one of the reasons I love it so much is that they have all this programming and don’t quote me on this, but I’m pretty certain, they have child-minding programs for parents who are taking adult learning classes there.  Which I think is really inspiring and wonderful. There’s also a mix of ages, which I think is way too rare. And the other reason that I love libraries so much is that they’re a place – they’re a public place – where you don’t have to pay. So anyone from any income level can be there and gather and be together and I think that’s really important. And in libraries I get very overwhelmed and melancholy because I think about all the books that exist that in my lifetime, I’ll never be able to read. And I think that’s a really beautiful reason to get melancholy.

It’s Eva. Thought eight. I’m thinking about Uncertainty.

We do a lot to feel certain, and we feel good when we feel certain – like we’ve succeeded, or we’ve done something right, really right. And now, a lot of us are looking at our calendars and seeing a lot of question marks where there used to be periods. I’ve been doing the emotional rollercoaster of that, and right now, on my rollercoaster ride, I’m trying to remind myself that uncertainty, the unknown, can bring about anything. Anything is possible. It can truly shake up the status quo in a very big way. It can bring about profound changes that Certainty couldn’t. I – and we – have a chance now, for something brand new. And that could be a great thing, that could be a terrible thing, the point is, it could be anything.

Eva. Thought seven, with a flurry of good things.

Good thing number one: I once met a dog that if you said SPEAK it would bark, but if you said WHISPER it would bark softly.

Good thing two: The book the Red Tent by Anita Diamant. It’s so good. It just makes me want to have my period and live in a yurt.

Good thing number three: My family gave me a personalized puzzle last year, and I finally got around to it, and I think it’s my childhood dog Molly.

Good thing four: Molly!

Good thing five: People offering support to individuals who need to self-isolate right now. You’re amazing! I love you. Keep going!

Good thing six: The Calvin & Hobbes strip where Calvin finds a hurt bird and then his mom teaches him about loss.

Good thing seven: I’m mentoring a young playwright with Tarragon right now and they wrote an amazing third draft this weekend.

Good thing eight: The BBC interview where that guy is being interviewed and then his kid bursts in and then his other kid bursts in and then his wife – it’s just … it’s comedy gold.

I’m running out of time. I want to know your good things. So share them. The world can be good. If we want it to be.

[sounds of children yelling and playing] It’s Eva. Thought five.

I’m currently sitting outside of a little… I wanna say they’re three-five [years old]… and it’s a ballet class where they’re currently throwing soccer balls at each other. So I’m thinking about imagination, I’m thinking about how we foster fun and creativity and recklessness into young people. I’m thinking about how this is probably thought six and I said thought five. And I’m thinking about how kids sometimes have the most fun when they’re alone… and how delightful that is. I also wish that I could take this class.

It’s Eva, thought five.

I’m thinking about the coronavirus and capitalism, and – yep, here it is, here’s my socialist rant – and how we’re asking people to stay home and not work, but living in a society that judges someone’s worth in the society by their working non-stop. I’m thinking about how staying home, staying isolated, is a privilege. I’m thinking about how these moments award “fend for yourself” behaviour: like the more toilet paper you have, that means that you…that is a direct correlation of how much you love and protect your family. I’m thinking about healthcare systems that don’t protect everyone. I’m thinking about compassion and caution. And I’m feeling like those two things can feel really far apart in moments of panic.

It’s Eva. This is my fourth thought.

The other day on Facebook I saw a photo of a kid, who’s the kid of one of the very first directors who invited me to assist them (so she’s like 7 or 8 or so now). And what’s really exciting is that I can track the length of my career by this child’s life. And in essence, we’re growing together.  She’s gone from being cooked inside her mama, to learning things about the world. And nowadays she’s learning math, and how to make friends, and meanwhile, I’m asking all these questions about the world, and in the next couple years, she’ll learn new math, like…I guess that graph shit, with the sine and cosine and all that.  And she’ll also be learning how fall in love. And I’ll be learning new things on how to be a human and an artist. And I really love that we’re learning and growing together. And I’d love the amount of learning I’m doing, to equal the amount she’s learning. Or maybe I should just relearn some of that math crap she’s learning but I dunno, that doesn’t sound as fun.

Hey it’s Eva, and it’s my third thought.

On the weekend I got to see the Imagine Van Gogh Exhibit in Montreal which was super cool and it got me thinking a lot about how we love to attach narratives to an artist’s work. It’s really delicious, it’s really satisfying to imagine… and craft these stories around why people created what they created. And I think about it in terms of modern playwriting and directing and how we really want to define a person by their work, or like a solo piece of work. And that feels really… it feels like a lot of responsibility. And maybe that comes from scarcity mentality, that we feel like we only get one shot at something, but it doesn’t feel like it reflects the ephemeral nature of theatre, or the ephemeral nature of being a human being.

It’s Eva Barrie, this is my second thought.

I’m thinking about mistakes; I’m thinking about failure. I’m curious about the difference between the two.

I feel like sometimes when I make a mistake, or when I feel like I’ve failed, I stop. And I don’t know how to move forward, and I feel really paralysed. And I feel a deep shame, often, and think about some of the people that I idolize or I put on pedestals, and I think “oh, they would never be so stupid as to do what I’ve just done.” And what a kind of bullshit way of thinking? But huh… I think we’re bred that way, a little bit. So I guess I really want to know about these people that I think are so fantastic, these arts-makers in Canada, these heavy-hitters… I want to know about their mistakes, their failures. Hey Sarah Garton Stanley…can you make that happen? Please, please?

My name is Eva Barrie and this is my first thought.

I’m thinking a lot about Lobbies. Or more so… I’m thinking about the conditions we create for people to experience a play or an event.

So one of my favourite theatres is the Schaubuehne in Berlin and there’s a bar in their lobby, with a table reserved for the artists of the production, so that afterwards, the artists can drink or hang out at the theatre, and therefore be accessible to the theatre goers. I think about how in Toronto our lobbies don’t offer that opportunity readily. We don’t think about lobbies as part of the artistic experience. They’re more a passage to the place where we will sit quietly and listen to the performance. But… if we want a vibrant theatre culture, if we want people to talk about plays, if we want to create nuanced and challenging plays that require a bit of discourse – maybe even between strangers – we need to set those spaces to have those conversations.

Thought Residency: Chantal Bilodeau

By

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is thought number twelve, which is also and the last thought of this residency.
I’ve been craving focus. I don’t know if it’s me or the outside world but I feel like my life is very scattered and my ability to pay attention somewhat compromised. It’s difficult to have any thought that has any depth when you can only think in fifteen-minute increments, or when you’re always interrupted. I like the variety and I do enjoy some amount of chaos because it can be very energizing. But right now, I wish I could give myself a bit of stillness to catch my breath.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought Number Eleven.
I’m thinking about two things – one was said to me and the other one I read – and for some reason these two things are resonating with me today. The first one is “You can never get enough of what you don’t need” and it was said to me by a massage therapist. The second one was written by playwright Sarah Ruhl and it’s “Life doesn’t get in the way.” So I’m thinking about things we crave but don’t need, and the way we always think that life is getting in the way when it’s actually the other way around.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought Number Ten.
I’m thinking about translation because this is what I’ve been doing intensely for the past several days and I am grateful to be able to travel from one world to another like that, and to have the joy of seeing what’s unique in both worlds. But I’m also aware of the loss, of all those things that don’t travel well between languages because they can’t be captured outside of their context. And that makes me think of people like me, immigrants who were born in one country and one language and now live in another country and another language. Even in the best case scenarios, we gained something but we also lost something.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought Number Nine.
The process of having a thought is interesting. Usually it happens sort of unnoticed in the background. But when you have to have a thought to record it, then you find yourself thinking about your thoughts, editing them, and trying to decide which one is worthy and which one is not. And so, I’ve been sitting here for about twenty minutes, wondering: OK, which thought is a good thought? And of course, in the process millions of them have gone by. But for one reason or another, none of them made the cut. So, in the end what you’re getting is my meta thought on having thoughts.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought Number Eight.
Here’s a list of things that give me anxiety: deadlines, traffic jams, being late, avoidable conflict, unavoidable conflict, too much sugar, not enough sugar, financial insecurity, patterns that repeat indefinitely – like flowers on a wallpaper, bad theatre, climate change, overpopulation, inequality, presidential elections, having to disappoint someone, having to say no to someone, doing a bad job, not being a good friend, making English mistakes, making French mistakes, having to get up at some ungodly hour to catch a flight in the morning, and having eighty-four emails in my inbox.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought Number Seven.
My thoughts today were a little bit like this: “Go!” “No, I don’t have time.” “But it’s beautiful outside!” “No, no, it’s gonna make me late.” “Go, go, just for five minutes!” “No! I’m so overwhelmed!” But in the end, I went and I looked at the river for five minutes, and it was completely worth it.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought Number Six.
I was walking to the subway tonight, and I was walking fast because I was in a hurry. I was also trying to solve a problem in my head so I wasn’t paying much attention. But at some point I noticed a sculpture and I almost just glanced at it and walked away but I decided to stop and really look at it. And it immediately made me feel happy because for one thing, it was beautiful but also it reminded me that beauty is everywhere and that it’s always up to us to take the time to appreciate it.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought Number Five.
Today, I was in a workshop titled The New Climate Story at Columbia University in New York, in a beautiful room that overlooks Manhattan. Out of a group of about fifty, there were only three of us in the theatre and the rest of the group was half journalists and half scientists. And I was reminded that though what we do in the theatre is often undervalued, in the climate world, I have always been not just welcomed but also called upon to help tackle this huge challenge. And I have to say, it’s very nice to be in a place where I feel needed.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought Number Four.
I didn’t watch the Oscars and I also haven’t see the movie “The Joker” [sic] but I am very grateful for Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscar speech where he called out the injustices of the world and talked about how we have become disconnected from the natural world, and how our egocentric world view is causing us to plunder its resources. I’m grateful that he can reach millions of people and is willing to say these things.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is thought number three.
To eat the ice cream or not to eat the ice cream? That is the question. Is it better to be emotionally fulfilled and physically uncomfortable or to be physically well but emotionally deprived? I think life is full of these dilemmas and when we go for black and white solutions, we’re usually missing part of the picture. This said, I’m eating the ice cream.

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is Thought #2.
I’ve been reading the book The Patterning Instinct by Jeremy Lent and it talks about how with the advent of agriculture, we developed the concept of boundaries and lines and squares. As long as we were hunters and gatherers, we saw the world as fluid – boundaries were permeable and everything was sort of a curve. But with agriculture, when we started growing things and having our own fields, we needed to determine what was ours and what wasn’t. And that’s when boundaries and squares and straight lines were invented.
So it’s interesting to think since we were born in that system, that we see it as being inevitable. That’s just our world. And it makes me wonder what kinds of boundaries and straight lines have we inherited and put in our stories and how could that be different?

My name is Chantal Bilodeau and this is my first thought.
I wonder what it means to be blessed these days. I’m sitting on my bed drinking a cup of Chai tea out of a cup that says “Blessed” and I think about all the climate disruptions, the coronavirus, um, terrible elections in many countries, protests – all the things that are changing this world – and… maybe being blessed just means being – …  actually being able to sit on a bed and drink a cup of Chai out of a cup that says “Blessed.”

Thought Residency: Marcus Youssef

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Big THANKS to the Greater Vancouver Professional Theatre Alliance for supporting Marcus Youssef’s Thought Residency.

Marcus Youssef here, thought number 15, I think. In the rehearsal room with Back to Back Theatre working on their project, the Democratic Set. Thinking about the way narrative is constructed in this image-based video/theatre project and how the creator/facilitators just kind of respond to offers that all these individual non-professionals and professionals make in these little, short pieces; and then weave them together through the kind of introduction of different prop elements and set elements and movement elements and construct meaning out of what is a random series of kind of offers.

 

Marcus Youssef, thought number 14. I’m thinking about the nature of this form, the thought residency. I think the intention is to capture a thought in the moment of having it. That’s been my experience. I have a thought and I think, “OK, this will be great. This is a thought worth exploring or sharing.” But it’s funny. Something happens because I don’t alway — I don’t usually go and record that thought. I kind of file it in my brain for later and then I do what I’m doing now, which is attempt to recapture that thought hours or a day later. At which time it’s not the same.  Because it’s not happening in that context in my mind. And it makes me think of the Internet and how it’s trying to capture the moment and how — I said — I have to stop because it’s too long.

 

Hi, it’s Marcus Youssef and it’s thought number 13.

I’m sitting in a rehearsal room with Back to Back theater from Australia, beginning work on their project, The Democratic set. And thinking about Back to back, which is a company, that has inspired me and my work, or aspects of my work, for close to 15 years. It’s an ensemble that is mixed-ability. It’s neurodiverse folks and neurotypical folks, and they make extraordinary shows that — in which disability, intellectual disability, is not the focus at all. It is just a fact that occurs in the performances. And I’m super excited to have the opportunity to work with them for the next week and also really shy and feeling sort of useless. (At this moment, ed.)

 


Hi, it’s Marcus Youssef. Thought number eleven.

I’m thinking about the recent events in Iran and the assassination of the Iranian political and military leader. And then also in particular, the images of his funeral and the sort of breathless coverage of the people who are trampled and the millions of Iranians who are out, at least according to the news reports I saw, mourning his death. And the way this image of millions of Iranians out in the streets has driven the narrative of the West’s relationship to Iran and the Middle East more broadly for such a long time. And how these stories just keep repeating with the same kind of exact visual representation over and over again. Especially in the era of 24-hour news where it’s like every single thing seems important. Yet this is exactly what we were thinking and feeling and seeing and being told in the wake of the Shah’s death in 1980 or not. Not the Shah sorry, the Ayatollah’s death.


Hi, it’s Marcus Youssef and this is number 11. I’m thinking about – whatever – the usual thoughts of how toxic social media is. But in particular about – the fewer and fewer times I’m on social media recently – how those feelings of resentment and upset I have about my friends posts, which are always about their success. And thinking about Shoshana Zuboff’s book, The Age of Surveillance Capitalism, and all the data analysis stuff that’s come out in the last year. And how I just literally want to talk to all of my friends and say, let’s stop. Like me too, because I post successes on social media too. Because it feels like the only way to advertise it. But like, to just like, let’s just stop. Let’s just stop. Can we all just stop? Which I get is only part of the picture, but it’s what I want to do.

 

Hi, it’s Marcus Youssef. Thought number 10. Thinking about the number of times that I’ve been in rehearsal rooms, mostly as a writer recently, and had my language or perspective or presumptions challenged – often about gender fluidity or, I guess, gender identities. And how that’s been mostly great. Like, I’m always kind of like, “Huh? What? Huh?” And that makes me think about the condition of getting older, and as a political person who always thought they would be on the cutting edge and leading the thinking on how we think about ourselves and each other relationally … how that changes. And what an interesting, provocative and kind of cool place it is. If difficult to occupy — being the one who doesn’t know.

 

Marcus Youssef here. Thought number nine. Thinking about a conversation I had with Sarah Benson last week. She’s the artistic director of Soho Rep. And was a big part of developing the play Fairview, which is an extraordinary play about race in the United States, and representation of race in the U.S. In which, like so much of the work I’m most excited by right now, the form, formal inventions perfectly reflect the analysis and the exploration and investigation of the content. Anyway, talking to Sarah about how that occurred, like how they discovered these formal inventions. Because it’s pretty it’s pretty formerly inventive. It starts like you think you’re in a three-act play and you’re not at all. And yet you are. And it was heartening to hear from her how long and involved that process was and how much time it required. And how many investigations of what they were doing and throwing out what they were doing or digging deeper into what they were doing. Just a good reminder of how formal invention, yeah — is as deep – like a struggle — as any other kind of creation.

 

Hi, it’s Marcus Yousef, thought number eight. I’m thinking about being a freelancer and how I’m no longer artistic director at Neworld. I stepped down from that position and the difference between controlling the conditions under which we make work. And when we don’t, when you’re working in relationship with others who control those. And the kind of tradeoff which is that — like I stepped down from Neworld because I kind of had stopped sleeping through the night because there’s all the details in my head, the stress that I had worked myself into it was way too much. I’ve been relieved of that, which is so great. And on the other side, it’s a different position to be not in control of the conditions that will manifest the creation of the new things that I’m working on.

 

Hi, it’s uh Marcus Youssef here with thought number seven, which I think might extend into thoughts number eight and nine. Um, thinking about Saturday night when, uh, my partner and I were invited to a party for someone in our community, who was actually a theatre person. Um, and we didn’t realize it — we knew she was uh sick — um but we didn’t realize it was actually the party the night before she, uh, decided to, uh, end her life. So it was kind of like her assisted suicide party. Um, and I’m still absorbing that event. She, uh, killed herself yesterday at 2:00 p.m. Um, and by all accounts, it was extraordinarily beautiful. The party was, um, overwhelming and beautiful. And I’m out of time. But, um, one of the things that occurred to us is that this is the beginning of this ritual becoming a part of our lives. Um, now that this is a choice we in Canada can make legally. And it is going to change us. Um, yeah, and I’ll talk more later.

 

Marcus Youssef here with thought number six.

At a production of a mainstream, big theatre musical and thinking about how it’s illegal for me to take this picture. And how I really want to take a picture because this set’s really beautiful — I’m not going to say what the production is. The set’s really, really beautiful. And yeah, it’s just the risk — this is a boring thought — but the rigamarole around the photographic recording of performance. And what that does and doesn’t mean, and how much time we’ve spent over the years just trying to get permission to share our work so that it can live.

 


Marcus Youssef here, this is thought number five.

Thinking about the ideology of busy-ness and its connection to technology. And how, you know, as we all know, like busyness can be sort of weaponized. Or I feel like I weaponize it in relationship to other people. “I’m so busy. I’m so busy.” But how also that’s a real thing. And the desire to feel useful. The excitement of working a lot. The way it can feel like a status symbol and how it’s related to anxiety and panic. How all those things are weaved together.

 


Hi, it’s Marcus Yousef, and this is my thought number four.

I’m staring at Jamie Long, my friend and often collaborator, as we write a screenplay adaptation of our play Winners and Losers in the same room that we wrote the play in ten years ago, or something like that. And just thinking about the long trajectory of projects. Or how when you start a project, you know, once in a while, one of those projects becomes actually a good chunk of what you’re doing with your life. Or can. And how that both changes and stays the same over the course of many years. Or can.

 

Marcus Youssef here again, and this is thought number three. Thinking about two plays, An Octoroon and Fairview. Two remarkable plays that I love. I have yet to see productions, I’ve only read them. How those two plays — which seem to be fundamentally changing the theatrical discourse about race and whiteness and the African-American experience or its relationship to culture in the U.S. — were both commissioned and developed and had their first productions directed by Sara Benson. She runs Soho Rep in New York, in her mid to late 30s, maybe early 40s, and a white British woman. And how I kind of like that … Yeah.

 

My name is Marcus Youssef. I’m a bit throaty and this is my second thought. I’m thinking about my friends, theatre makers James Long and Maiko Yamamoto, who just won this Siminovtich Prize for directing. And thinking, particularly about something Maiko said to me when I was doing some work helping another company, pals of our’s, strategic plan. She said a question she was really interested in asking about her and Jamie was like, what if this is it? What if this company we have built, if this is what we’re going to do for the rest of our lives? What if it’s not like, “What’s next? What’s going to be different? What’s going to change everything?” What if this is it? And I thought that was such a useful question.

 

Hey, my name’s Marcus Youssef. This is my first thought.

Today, I’m thinking about transitions, as theater artists and for me, as a writer who’s just come out of like two intense rehearsal periods and coming back to writing and spending the vast majority of the day by myself and how it feels utterly unfamiliar and terrifying. Although like seven weeks ago, it was – it felt utterly right and exactly what I should be doing.

Thought Residency: Julie Tamiko Manning

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My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number twelve.

We all know that we should eat well, exercise, limit alcohol, and not smoke- but when I do all of those things and still feel like going back to bed, I feel like I am somehow failing at life. So…Today I’m going to FLIP IT!

Who says I can’t change up what I expect from myself to succeed at life today?

Have I hugged someone? Check. Laughed? Check. Made someone else laugh? Check. Looked someone in the eye and smiled? Said thank you? Check, check. Written a haiku in my head for no reason except- how else can I express my joy at this world but in a head-haiku? Check.

My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number eleven.
I am sitting in a café working on the next draft of my script , Mizushobai. I am at a point where I am struggling with THE hardest question whose answer all roads will lead outwards from.
My deadline for this draft is tonight and I’m pretty sure that I won’t reach it, because all I can think about is “When is the most appropriate time to go and get that cinnamon bun I saw on the counter when I ordered my coffee?”


My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number ten.

I have been thinking all day of something to think about for this Thought Residency but I have come up with nothing and I think it’s because I’m in a very medium place right now.

I am not sad but I’m not happy, I am not stressed but I’m not chill, I am not waiting but I’m not settled, I’m just here and I’m not even trying to not be here so my thoughts are… just…here?


My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number nine.

This thought is on time. Or at least it was supposed to be on time.

A stranger once told me I needed to look into the underlying reasons of why lateness was an issue of mine: was it because I overestimated what I could achieve in a day? Was it because of my ego- thinking that my time was worth more than others’ time?

I’ve never done the work of looking into that, although I’ve always meant to.

All I know is that at this moment, I am working on a device that has only 9% battery life left, and that’s not all I’m running out of.

My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number eight.

You know when you’re walking down a busy city street and your hood is up because it’s snowing and you almost walk into the intersection without realizing it because you’re thinking so much about where you belong in this world and who you belong to?

I used to have this friend who would grab the back of my shirt when I would thoughtlessly wander into traffic.

I either need to get myself another one of those or I need to take my hood down and pay attention to where I’m going.

My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number seven.

In thought number two I talked about a comfortable silence. But I am also thinking about a different kind of silence. The silence of backing away. The silence of shutting down. The silence I experience when faced with racism, towards me, towards others, even now as an adult. The silence of our brothers when we are not present to defend ourselves and even when we are present and the only ones to defend ourselves is us. The silence of sitting down instead of standing up. You know, THAT silence.

My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number six.

So I have been thinking about inner demons-more like feeling them. And I am wondering how we hear those inner demons and choose to go forward, open the door and go outside.

Um.

I don’t have a solution to that, I’ve just been thinking about it.

My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number five.

I grew up in a small francophone town south of Montreal. I had been ridiculed when I was younger for not speaking French properly, so I made sure when I walked into a diner to order a “lait frappé”. The woman behind the counter said “Enh?” I said, “Un Lait frappé? She said, “Quoi?” “Un lait frappé.” And I pointed to the big menu on the entire wall behind her. She turned around and she said “Ah, tu veux un milkshake!

My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought four.

Today I went to visit my Japanese grandparents’ grave. It’s in a tiny Anglican graveyard in a small francophone town in the Eastern Townships of Québec. They were not Anglican but there wasn’t much choice for their final resting place. The story of how they got there is the story of displacement of Japanese and Japanese Canadians after the Second World War. I think about how they are as isolated in death as they were in life. Their Japanese bones surrounded by white ghosts.

My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought three.

So I was in a show with a life-sized elephant puppet, called Jumbo. Jumbo had 2 puppeteers inside him and one manipulator/actor on his trunk. One of the most poignant scenes with the puppet was a non-verbal scene with a fourth actor. I always wondered what made that scene work so well. It occurs to me now that it was one of the only moments of pure complicity: everyone-on and offstage worked towards the one goal of giving Jumbo life. They were complicit. Without ego. Backstage, We would all watch like breathless children from the wings.

My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought number two.

I’ve been thinking about silence.

…

Recently a friend told me that I gracefully repress emotion. And that that’s not healthy.

But sometimes silence is good. Sometimes there is so much love and beauty in Silence. Sometimes Silence is just the absence of words (which can be so exhausting and complicated) and not the absence of me.


My name is Julie Tamiko Manning and this is thought #1.

This summer I was working at the Blyth Festival Theatre in Huron County in Southern Ontario. I would wake up every morning and before I got out of bed and I would take 30 seconds to think of something that I was grateful for. This was something that a friend of mine had encouraged me to do, and we would report back to each other every night. We were responsible to each other. I did it for her, but it didn’t really do much for me as I was having such a great summer. Then I eventually stopped. But this November is proving to be a bit more difficult, so I think I might have to revisit that daily practice of
gratefulness.

Thought Residency: Audrey Dwyer

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Hi! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my fifteenth thought.

I’m thinking about celebration, joy and bliss. About creating space and time to mark meaning. How there are traditions that are mainstream and well known. And then the ones that one creates for themselves, for their families, chosen families, friends. These unique moments that are ultimately so personal, so tied into need, want, recognition, time, achievement, remembrance. Things unseen. How we can walk around with these private moments, create our own cheer, build on time.

Hi! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my fourteenth thought.

I’m thinking about ideas and idea generation. Where ideas come from, how they come to be and what ideas are in response to. Intellectual beginnings, imagined beginnings, historical beginnings, advocacy beginnings. Where people go to get their ideas. How idea generation can be nurtured, challenged, pushed. Who do our ideas serve?

Hi! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my thirteenth thought.

I’m thinking about playwrights – young and old, near and far, all over the planet.

I’m thinking about where ideas come from for playwrights, how long it can take to write a play. I’m thinking about playwriting, hunched backs over desks, waking up in the middle of the night with an idea.

So many ideas, so many playwrights all over the world working working working to get things just right.

Hi! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my twelfth thought.

I’m thinking about theatre programming, morning meetings and coffee.
I’m thinking about opening nights and audience reception and I’m thinking about mandates and mission statements.
I’m thinking about the power of theatre and theatre that is uh… effervescent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my tenth thought.

I’m thinking about catharsis and the news. How the news impacts their audience in terms of climax and catharsis. How news watchers are taken through that process throughout the day. I remember the 80s and the little girl who fell down a well, people fixated on television sets to find out what happened in real time. What happens for people following the news when the climactic moment doesn’t happen? Where do we all sit collectively when we don’t have that climax? Ever? What happens to us if we don’t get that release with the stories or the moments that are incomplete? What happens to us if we don’t get that feeling of catharsis day after day after day?

 

Hello! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my ninth thought.

I’m thinking about how stories have the potential to uplift us and to inspire us and to connect us. I’m doing research on a web series right now. Life is so unpredictable and it can take us down so many roads. I’m thinking about how our curiosity in childhood and / or teen-hood impacts our choices as adults. About how being resilient and taking care of your own needs can inform how one advocates for others in their adulthood.

 

Hello! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my eighth thought.

I am thinking about coffee, autobiographies, video communication, buying books and how we learn. I’m thinking about mornings that look like nights and the consistency of the sun rising and setting and the full moon. I’m thinking about the world around me. I’m thinking about the things that change, the things that change that one knows will change and things that stay the same, time and time again. I’m thinking about history, relationships, foundations, and forgiveness.

 

Hello! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my seventh thought. I am thinking about The Golden Rule and how similar it is across religions. I just read about The Bronze Rule which is “If they are not bothering you, don’t bother them.” And then there is The Platinum Rule, which is “Do unto others as they would like to be done unto”. Then there is The Diamond Rule, which is The Diamond Rule: “Imagine being them, before doing unto them.” 

 

Hello. My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my sixth thought.

I’ve been thinking about checklists, meetings, leadership, mediation, emails and snow. It is supposed to snow at 1 am tonight. I’m thinking of a good night’s sleep and how excited I feel about work, theatre, audiences and ideas ideas ideas. I’m thinking of all the people out there buzzing with ideas, coming up with things, all of my creative friends and chosen family who make art in everything that they do. Feeling inspired.

 

Hello. My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my fifth thought.

I’ve been thinking about initiatives, audiences, finances, theatricality and artistry. I’ve been thinking about the potential and possibilities of theatre, what the exchange is and honesty. What is real? I’ve been thinking about relationships, feelings, wildness and order. And I’ve been thinking about awareness, etiquette and abandon and dance.

 

Hello. My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my fourth thought.

I’m thinking about writing for the camera, first draft completed, theatricality on film and implicating the audience in the story. I just finished watching Fleabag and I can’t stop thinking about the show and Phoebe Waller-Bridge. Theatricality on film and being seen. Acknowledging the viewer. I’m also thinking about Lizzo and the lyrics to Truth Hurts.

 

Hi! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my third thought.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we hold space and how we facilitate other people’s processes. I’ve been thinking a lot about therapy and therapists and their self-care and how they process all of the different things that they uh hold, encounter, listen to and um yeah just thinking about safe spaces for everyone to process… trauma

 

Hello! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my second thought.

I uh just got home from dress rehearsal. It’s around one am Um I’ve been up since eight. I’m thinking about what’s on the list of things to do tomorrow, about submitting a grant, I’m thinking about vitamins and how they’re better if you take them with a fat, from what I’ve read thinking, I’m thinking about taxes, um and I’m thinking about delicacy and fragility and flowers.

 

Hello! My name is Audrey Dwyer and this is my first thought.

I’ve been thinking about how we learn and I’ve also been thinking about rituals before you go to bed like what people do that helps them to fall asleep. And if they do the same thing night after night after night or if people switch it up. It’s uh after 1 here and I just got home from a dress rehearsal so yeah just thinking about how people learn and how people get ready for bed.

Thought Residency: Maev Beaty

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I was at Union Station for the Raptors parade and it was so FUN, the energy and the humanity was so, really, kind of thrilling and warming. But also I am now reminding myself that for Fridays’ big Climate Strike that I need get: water in a reusable bottle, I need sunscreen, I need toilet paper or tissues, maybe a first aid kit, a phone charger and some SNACKS. So if anyone happens to be reading this before Friday, hopefully you’ll remember those things too! See you on the streets…

 

Ok you guys here’s a doozy.

Umm…So the last couple of months I have been toying with the idea of putting together a workshop? a seminar? a healing circle? a sharing forum?… to talk about how to manage life as a performer, as a woman, with a hormonal cycle. And so tips and tools and advice and sharing of knowledge and medicine about how to bring yourself healthily to the work and make sure that the work is healthy for you, and still available with its full breadth of possibility. And I think this could be a really helpful thing and I think it could be really cool and I think…Uhhhh yeah…But here’s the thing…

If I actually organized something like this am I (assume crazy voice) just feeding the patriarchal idea that women are Hysterical and they are actually Wildly Different from week to week and need Special Kid Gloves to deal with their Hormonal reality (drop crazy voice) !?!?!?

Ummm yeah so that’s why I haven’t actually talked about this publicly until now. And that fact ALONE Makes Me Crazy.

What do you think?

 

This is ‘climate crisis week’ internationally leading up to the Big March on Friday the 27th – hope to see you there in the streets – and so most of my thoughts are about the actions that ARCA – Artists for Real Climate Action and thisisnotadrill.ca are up to this week – the theatres that are encouraging activism in and around their theatres this week, and Greta on the Youtube and her impassioned speech at the UN today and so I guess the main thought in my head this evening is don’t read the comments don’t read the comments don’t read the comments don’t read the comments don’t read the comments just keep your head down, keep your heart open, keep going forward, oh don’t read the comments.

 

We were moving some furniture pieces around tonight, in my home, and we moved a Billy bookcase, thank you IKEA circa 2001, probably, And, uh, oof, there was a lot of dust underneath the bookcase and, uh, I was getting tired and everything seemed a bit overwhelming so I hopped on my phone and read about JT’s… “costume” and uh, yeah, tonight is not a night for me to share any thoughts that I have about this, I have so many thoughts, but it’s not a night for me to share my thoughts. It’s a night for me to just think those thoughts allllllllll the way to the end of those thoughts, and then shut up, and then think some more. So here’s a picture of some of the dirt, under the Billy bookcase, instead.

 

Today my six year old daughter and a friend of hers from school gathered a huge bag of walnuts from the park next to the playground. After experimenting with different ways of exploding them on the concrete or by jumping on them, they brought the rest of their haul home, to the townhouse complex where they both live. And bit by bit – the girls – anywhere from 2 years old to 10 years from the townhouse complex, all emerged. Eventually gathering around a cauldron-like silver pot to crush up these walnuts and the meat within, adding water and chalk paste and stirring the cauldron with three wooden twigs…uhm…and chuckling. In other news, the Crucible is still playing at the Stratford Festival.  

 

Lately we’ve been doing a lot of talking about Do-ing vs. Be-ing at our house, and, um, trying to just take a – little – LOOK at that, and – the experience of that or our understanding of that at our house and, y’know, we do a lot: I think we are Big Do-ers, over here. Yup, we, uh, do…do do…haha! And uh yeah, and I’d like to do a little bit more Being without worrying about the ‘To Do’ do that’s overdue. And watching my daughter do this really neat art exploration tonight with epsom salts and water and crystal and food colouring and paper towel, just, my head was just goin’…”do be do be do be do be do be do be doooo”

 

My parents were living and working in New York City when the towers fell. My father watched it with his own eyes and they plucked charred pieces of paper from their Brooklyn balcony for days afterwards. Uh, that same day my husband was on a train with a group of children to perform at an international children’s peace festival, but they had to stop the train at the border and bus the kids back, finding a way to explain to them why the peace festival was cancelled. Uh, he wasn’t my husband at the time, but today is our fifteenth wedding anniversary. When we called my parents to ask them if we could, ah, use that date for the ceremony and we explained that it was the only day my paternal grandfather could attend, they said that they were ok with that, that they wanted to fill that day with love, with a loving memory. That paternal grandfather is now passed away as has all of my grandparents and. umm… today I am thinking about love and happiness and peace and death and …all the people who are also thinking about love and happiness and peace and death on this date.

 

I’m sitting on the third floor watching a really powerful thunderstorm sweep through the rooftops around me and I am realizing that I am sitting in the sky, i am literally sitting inside the sky. My whole life I’ve lived on first floors and basements of Ontario homes and buildings and, sitting up here in the sky in the middle of a storm, I’m thinking about my friend Liisa Repo-Martell and all the incredible artists who came together to start Artists for Real Climate Action (ARCA) that launched a huge social Media campaign today to gather members, and at last check I think we got over twelve hundred members, in one day, and I’m just sitting inside the sky thinking about how great that is and how grateful I am.

 

I’ve been thinking about the public in the private and the private in the public which is so much of the territory that I have to live in as an actress, and I just came in from the West Toronto Railpath that runs along my home – because I’m trying to get outside more before the snow flies for walks or jogs, and I was just listening to the Guilty Feminist Podcast about abortion rights in Northern Ireland and it wasn’t until after I returned to the house that I realised I had probably: doubled over in laughter; shouted the word “YES!” three or four times in solidarity; clapped my hand over my mouth in amazement – completely oblivious ah, to any observers that might be passing me on the railpath and how interesting that these personal entertainment devices, that used to be about listening to the radio privately in your own home or your car or your place of work, now are portable and can go out and roam around the world.

 

This morning I woke up in Toronto and tonight I will go to sleep in Toronto, 

but right now I’m standing on the platform of the train station in Stratford and I… 

came out HERE 

where it’s VERY COLD 

to wait for a huge hurtling steel vehicle barreling towards me 

rather then sit 

one minute longer 

in the unwelcome, uninvited and disturbing gaze of the middle aged male stranger who’s been staring at me 

(train horn blows)

…and who I could probably beat in a fight, 

but I don’t really want to. 

Hi this is Maev Beaty and this is my first thought.

Today is the First Day of School.

It’s the first day of grade one for my daughter and her friends.

Today is the first day of my voice agent, Sandi Sloan’s,
Retirement.

Today is the day that a friend of mine’s daughter will not go to school, because she passed away a week ago.

Today is just any other day.

Thought Residency: Robert Chafe

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So a guy on the highway got really angry with me because I couldn’t, wouldn’t, let him into the lane if his choosing at the time of his choosing and so he angrily swerved around me and got in front of me and then slammed on his brakes forcing me to slam on my brakes, very dangerously, all to teach me some sort of lesson and then a full five minutes later when he was exiting the freeway he rolled down his window and gave me the finger, and it just got me thinking about emotional energy and how we expend it and choose to expend it or how it expends itself through us and it also made me realize that I didn’t have a terribly big emotional reaction to him, which is also uncommon because I used to kinda have road rage and frustration with people and that I wasn’t feeling that and I think it was because I just completed a day of dramaturgy and dramaturgy is really really hard and then I started to think about maybe that’s where all of my emotional energy is going to these days is into the work and is that a good thing or a bad thing it’s certainly leveling out the spikes of emotion good or bad in my day to day living, and…yeah. Emotional energy. And theatre. And road rage.

 

Today I am thinking about Larry Dohey. I woke up this morning and checked Facebook as I am wont to do, and saw that Larry passed away suddenly yesterday. Larry was an archivist, but a bit of a celebrity at least within in our community, the creative community in Newfoundland and Labrador. He worked at the archives of the Basilica, the Roman Catholic Diocese for many years, and then at the Rooms provincial archives, and he was an endless resource to so many people in our community on so many fronts, and watching the reaction to his passing this morning on social media is just kind of a testament to the effect that a person can have even in jobs that sometimes quietly go unnoticed such as an archivist. Larry kind of elevated – I’ll use that word – elevated the importance and the public impact of a position like that. And yeah, so I’m sad, and I’m reflective, and I’m thinking of Larry, and I’m grateful to have known him, and I’m grateful to have been touched by his brilliance a bit. And I’m thinking about community, and I’m thinking about impact, and I’m thinking about…all kinds of things.

 

Today I am in Avondale Newfoundland, in a beautiful little house overlooking the bay, working with Evalyn and Leah on The Dialysis Project in the capacity of a dramaturge, key collaborator. And so I’m thinking about coming to other people’s work, other people’s stories, and how to bring what I do to those stories in an attempt to elevate them without intruding upon them, and how to honour trauma and complexity in people’s stories without dramaturgically simplifying them or erasing them or any of the other things that too heavy a hand could do. And also thinking about how every project is a completely new learning experience even after all of these years.

 

I’m just about to hop in a car and drive three hours from St John’s to the Bonavista peninsula to take in the second instalment of the Bonavista Biennale, a project that started back in 2017 and it’s having its second iteration this year. An incredible, ambitious, beautiful art site-seeing tour across the Bonavista peninsula, where you dip into these little buildings, and some not so little, along that road that I’ve driven many many times in my life but I’ve never noticed these buildings before, and now you walk in and there’s magical…almost as if by magic there are these incredible art displays. It’s an incredible way to encounter some fantastic contemporary visual art while at the same time getting to know an area intimately, and it’s my new favourite thing in the province of Newfoundland and Labrador. So I’m thinking a lot about vision and ambition and thinking outside the box and ways of transforming space and that’s what I’m thinking about today.

 

It’s my birthday today and so I’m thinking a lot about aging. I’m thinking a lot about aging this entire summer actually. We just moved my parents into a brand new accessible house that my brothers built for them, with a little assistance from me. And it’s just got me thinking about my fate as I age, as a queer man with no kids, as an artist with, you know…skeptical about my financial future, to say the least. Yeah, so just thinking about aging and thinking about what awaits. Oh god that’s so depressing, sorry for the depressing thought today.

 

Had a great meeting with Brian and Sarah today about my new show and our upcoming workshop, which got me thinking about how lucky I am to have amazing collaborators in my life, which got me thinking about the whole reason I got into theatre in the first place. It was, what I called once, like organized sports for the geeky kid. I didn’t play organized sports when I was a kid; three failed years of hockey, but we don’t talk about that. And, yeah…just collaboration. And gratitude. And just being really thankful that whatever I’ve done in my creative career, it has garnered me the great privilege of working with some really really tremendous people, and sometimes my heart just bursts with gratitude for that.

 

I’m walking around the lake and there’s a guy riding his bike on the walking trail and following him is his dog off leash and suddenly I’m filled with such, like, intense annoyance. And in that moment, I realize that I’m inherently in my life a really strict follower of rules. And then I start to wonder about how much of that naturally, innately, presents itself in my work, and if there’s any way to break that.

And he was wearing too much cologne too.

 

Today Greta Thunberg departs on a two-week journey across the Atlantic in a zero emissions yacht to attend a climate conference. Today I head to my office to work on more details of sending 10-12 people on a six-month tour across Canada via car, plane, bus. Something’s gotta give.

 

So I was sitting in the park yesterday and watching some skateboarders and kind of marvelling at the inherent engagement with failure that comes with skateboarding. It’s really admirable. They – usually a bunch of guys – they usually get together, and fail, try things that they know are beyond their capacity but they know they’ll only get to if they repeat repeat repeat. And unlike most endeavours that practice doesn’t happen in solitude, it happens in congregation, seemingly only happens in congregation with people that are also failing. At best, I guess, that’s what rehearsal should be like but so often isn’t. And, yeah, I just find it really admirable.

 

My name is Robert Chafe, and this is my thought residency, day 2.

So, I composed a rather eloquent thing detailing a conversation I had with a friend of mine about the very fuzzy line between confidence and arrogance and how I sometimes trip on that line and don’t quite know how to proceed. And just as I was about to send it in, I was looking at Facebook and a friend of mine’s status update simply read “get over yourself.” And so I erased my thought. And replaced it with this.

 

So as with all things with regards to my career, I’m going back to basic principles with this thought residency and rooting it in honesty. And my first thought rooted in honesty is that this thought residency is stressing me out. Because I feel the weight and need to be poignant and smart. And I don’t operate well under pressure to be anything. So that’s my thought today. It’s going to be an interesting month.

(Note: there is an eerily appropriate distant siren wailing in the background of this ☺)

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